Up for air

Here I am again after being caught in the life wheel.

We’re halfway through our session at my summer job, and I’ve been caught up with planning for next year and spending time with TK and friends. I’ve had two house guests in back-to-back weeks (Vixen & the other laura!), and I’ve been hired for two part-time jobs in addition to my full-time teaching gig.

Aside from being stressed, things are going well in most areas. I definitely feel like my life is here in Raleigh, but I still think about the friends I miss from graduate school and Boston all the time. I’ve been trying so hard to schedule a trip up north with TK, but our schedules never seem to match up. Funds are also an issue, though that should get better for me in the coming months.

In addition to my full-time teaching job, I’ll be teaching another class at another university and tutoring online for a private company. It’s going to be hectic I’m sure, but I need the extra funds for bills!

One of those bills is going to be for a new apartment (which I’m still looking for). My landlady didn’t want my roommate and me to renew our lease, so I’ve been looking for a new apartment for the past week or so. I have an appointment after work today for a 2-bedroom place, but I’ll be living there alone for the time being. TK and I have thought about possibly moving in together 6 months down the line. I feel ready for it, but I also think it will be good for me to have my own place for a while before he moves in with me.

The strangest thing about these past few weeks has been being back at my summer job and thinking about what was going on a year ago with Sax. He’s not working here this summer, but I have felt haunted by the memories of when he was. In some ways, I’ve even felt like a part of the “cleansing” process has been about creating new memories with TK. I don’t miss Sax, but it’s strange to be confronted with those memories and remember the feelings I felt so strongly.

I guess I’m being continually reminded that eventually things cease to weigh on you as heavily as they once did. I’m glad that my carry-on baggage is still fairly light.