Women's Lib?

A little over a year ago I made the decision to lose weight. Things had gotten a little out of control, and it was time for me to take it back. It's been tough, but I've been very happy with the success I've seen. Over Christmas break I realized that I fit into my HS prom dress again. In fact, it probably looks better on me now than it did then. I was ecstatic. But I'm still looking to shed another 15-20lbs. I don't want to overdo it, but I do want to reach my healthy BMI.

Since losing the weight, I've started paying more attention to the other aspects of my appearance--my hair, my clothes, etc. The other day when I spent the day with my friend Vixen getting a manicure/pedicure and shopping, I started thinking about my newfound preoccupation with looking *pretty*.

I never thought that I would be the type of girl to spend so much time on this stuff. And don't get me wrong, it's not like I spend hours getting ready to leave the house. But I do spend enough time in order to look cute. I think what I'm going for is the whole, "Oh, I look cute? How'd that happen?" effect. :-)

So why am I writing about this, you ask? Well, Vixen and I got to talking about the fact that we never really thought we'd be like this. Preoccupation with appearance seems to put a kink in our carefully constructed personas as academic women. As lit. majors we're supposed to tear texts apart for setting up impossible binaries for women. We do feminist readings for a reason. I understand how societal expectations are damaging to women, and have myself been influenced by them. But that doesn't mean that I don't really enjoy feeling pretty and doing things for myself. Taking the time to do these things does actually put me in a better mood. Sure, I'm hoping to catch the eye of a few boys along the way, but I mostly do it for myself; I enjoy it.

Am I deluded in thinking that just because I know and understand the harm that women feeling like they have to *perform* feminitity for others can cause, I am justified if I participate in it anyway? Hmm. Flame away if you think I am. Or you can just laugh at me for thinking about things too much. :-P